Hindu Philosophy of Marriage | Dr. A. V. Srinivasan
According to Hinduism, marriage between two souls is a very sacred affair that stretches beyond one lifetime and may continue up to at least seven lives. Duties Of Husband And Wife According To Atharva veda. atharvaveda Duties by both husband and wife in a marriage Tags: atharvavedadutiesduties and responsibilitieshindu marriagehindu preachinghusband and. A bride during a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony in Punjab, India. Bride in Sari and Groom It is a union of two individuals as husband and wife, and is recognized by law. In Hinduism According to Hinduism there are eight different types of marriages. . At the actual wedding, Hindu brides wear bright colored outfits.
Participate in the creation of progeny Work for the welfare of the family members. Respect the Hindu dharma and family traditions by performing the obligatory duties, various samskaras and rituals. Perform devotional services, charitable works and other morally and spiritual uplifting activities.
Serve the gods, earthly beings, the ancestors and the dependent parents and relationships. Look after each other through thick and thin. Assist each other in their spiritual progress and work for each other's salvation. Hindu scriptures do show a clear bias towards men and take the superiority of men in marital relationships for granted.
They declare that a woman ought to be respected, protected and kept happy and that the happiness of women in the household is vital for the prosperity, peace and happiness of a family. They also recognize the importance of women in the affairs of their families and in molding the character and integrity of their children. However, at the same time they emphasize the need to keep women under constant vigilance by their men, since, according to them, women cannot be completely trusted or left to themselves.
They also do not consider gender equality as an important consideration in marriage or in society, although they do emphasize that each partner in a marriage has a unique role to perform, which cannot be discharged by the other. Man is recognized as the primary upholder of the dharma, the main recipient of all ritual honors, where as his wife participates in them as his partner and associate saha dharma charini to complement his efforts.
He is incomplete without her and so does she. But when it comes to the comparison, he clearly stands above her. When he leaves the world, she loses every thing, her wealth, her identity, her comforts and her status. Thus clearly and unequivocally the Hindu scriptures relegate women to a subordinate position in relationship with men. Marriage has another dimension in Hindu religion, which is unique by itself. Marriage is not viewed as a purely human affair, but as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman in which gods participate as witnesses as well as donors of the bride.
During the marriage ceremony, the priest first marries the bride to the gods and then presents her to the bridegroom as a gift from the gods. Then he asks the groom to take an oath with gods as the witnesses that he would protect her and abide by her for the rest of his life. The idea behind this practice is that a man ought to respect his wife and treat her well as a divine gift since he cannot perform his obligatory duties as the upholder of the dharma all by himself.
Besides, the belief that he has received the bride in good faith from the gods themselves puts him under a moral obligation to treat her well. In modern Hindu society the equation between man and woman is changing.
Hinduism, marriage and mental illness
The love between a married couple is usually only skin deep. When you listen to your partner, he or she should be able to feel that you are genuinely interested and that you would sincerely like to help. Your partner should feel your care and concern, your respect and admiration. An open acceptance of the other is needed, and there should be no reservations. If she has the right attitude, the family life will become peaceful.
If both the husband and wife are obstinate and unyielding in nature, both should try to correct each other by cultivating and developing patience and forgiveness in themselves. Always try to recognise and admire the good qualities in each other. Whatever your weaknesses may be, they should remain a secret between the two of you. You should work out your problems together with a positive attitude, without provoking or hurting each other with accusations.
First of all, we should become aware of our own weaknesses, because this is the best way to remove them. When you are pointing out a weakness, do so lovingly and with every intention of eradicating it in a positive way from your lives. These weaknesses are blocks that prevent you from expressing yourselves fully. See these blocks as obstructions and learn to remove them. It is something that should be taken seriously. Relationships can become a path to God, a path to eternal freedom and peace, provided you have the right attitude.
Strive to be adaptable. Try to be patient, not once or twice, but many times. If there are still difficulties in a relationship even after you put forth a lot of effort, you can consider it your karma, your destiny. At this point you can either endure it, accepting the difficulties as your prarabdha; or, if you find the situation too difficult to withstand anymore, maybe you can think of separation or divorce.
But before that, you must play your part well. You must put forth effort at least to see whether the relationship can work or not. To simply let it fall apart is an unpardonable mistake. It is a sin and you will have to suffer for it.
Do not make the wife and children suffer unnecessarily. If their characters are not good, do not dissipate your energy worrying about them. Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records "Panjikas" maintained by the specialists.
Jatakam or Kundali is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonious relationship. If the astrological chart of the two individuals male and female achieve the required threshold in points then further talks are considered for prospective marriage. Also the man and woman are given a chance to talk and understand each other.
Once there is an agreement then an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place. In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages have seen a marginal decrease, with prospective brides and grooms preferring to choose a spouse on their own and not necessarily only the one whom their parents find agreeable; this has been more pronounced in urban and suburban areas than rural regions.
Eight types of marriage[ edit ] Hindu symbolic marriage: Illustration from Sougandhika Parinaya According to Hinduism there are eight different types of marriages. Not all have religious sanction.
Brahma marriage - The Brahma marriage is the marriage of one's daughter, after decking her with costly garments and with presents of jewels, to a man of good conduct learned in the Vedas, and invited by oneself. A Brahma marriage is where a boy is able to get married once he has completed his student hood, or Brahmacharya.
Brahma marriage has the most supreme position of the eight types of Hindu matrimony.
- Duties Of Husband And Wife According To Atharva veda
- Hindu Marriages Purpose and Significance
- The Hindu Marriage, Past and Present
It is these things that make the basis for Brahma marriage, not a system of dowry. Daiva marriage - The type of marriage that is considered inferior because it is degrading to womanhood.
This used to be the practice followed by many Royals in ancient times to forge diplomatic ties with allies and enemies alike. Arsha marriage - An Arsha marriage is where the girl is given in marriage to a sage. The bride used to be given in exchange for some cows. Agasthya married Lopamudra accordingly.
The Hindu Marriage, Past and Present
Kings often could not refuse the sages who had such power and standing in society and hence the numerous stories in Mahabharata that portray this practice. Prajapatya marriage - Prajapatya is when a girl's father gives her in marriage to the bridegroom, treating him with respect, and addresses them: Also, unlike Arsha marriage, monetary transactions are not a part of the Prajapatya marriage.
Gandharva marriage - The voluntary union of a maiden and her lover on own is called Gandharva marriage.