Superhero Movie () - IMDb
Meet the Spartans Movie Poster. Released; January 25 Enter your location to see which movie theaters are playing Meet the Spartans near you. ENTER CITY . Meet the Spartans is a American parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron An adult Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is cast out into the wild, survives the . This article includes a list of references, but its sources remain unclear. She's not an actress, but that doesn't always matter. .. Look for her to rank high on our next list: Models-turned-Actresses-turned-Models. Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) -- hey, who ever said mindless fun and bodacious.
After all, who could forget Dumb and Dumberer: Redeeming feature Bob Hoskins is Odin. What the critics said "Jamie Kennedy is, by many accounts, a funny guy. You wouldn't know it, though, from 'Son of the Mask'. Max Payne Who's responsible? Why it's on the list If you thought The Happening was the worst film Mark Wahlberg starred in inwell, you'd be right, but Max Payne gives it a damn good run for its money.
Managing to ride roughshod over the original game's plot Valkyries, anyone? Redeeming feature The shoot-out scenes are reasonable engaging and frequent which keeps the film, somehow, God knows, going. What the critics said "The movie is a series of glum interrogation scenes that lead nowhere special, with a not-quite-sci-fi urban murkiness that makes it look like someone was trying to shoot Blade Runner in Cleveland.
Director Stefen Fangmeier, and, arguably, novelist Christopher Paolini. Why it's on the list Featuring a supporting cast more wooden than the Forest of Fangorn and a plot that could have been written by a teenager and was - he was 15 this sword-swinging large lizard-filled blunder was almost doomed to crash and burn. Jeremy Irons makes a valiant attempt to make it passable, but fails under the weight of its Star Wars-lite-in-the-woods plot and its tired, weak dialogue. Redeeming feature Some genuinely impressive dragon-based CGI.
What the critics said "A painful reminder of what fantasy cinema was like before the Lord of the Rings trilogy re-wrote the rules. House of the Dead Who's responsible? Why it's on the list You may be surprised it's taken this long to see a Boll film on this list and you'll certainly be surprised how few of his films are here but here we are at last, with a plotless game adaptation that sees irritating teens trying to kill badly designed zombie hordes. Bad on every level except the accidental comedy one.
Redeeming feature The unintentional laughs provoked by exchanges like, "'You created it all to be immortal You couldn't make it up. Well, clearly someone could. What the critics said "To properly convey the jaw-dropping shoddiness of this videogame-based ''horror'' ''movie,'' one must approach what scientists call Absolute Stupid, a state previously thought to exist only under highly controlled laboratory conditions or at the highest levels of government.
Well, if you do, be sure never to watch this, because it will spoil those memories forever. We could forgive Lohan for wanting to make a racier, adult thriller.
Scary Movie 5 () - IMDb
If only it were thrilling. Redeeming feature If you want to see Lohan pole-dancing, this is your chance. That, or any Friday night in LA during What the critics said "There's a fresh candidate in the running for worst movie of honours.
A nonsensical plot that grows sillier by the second, tawdry special effects, heavy-handed symbolism that's big on electric-blue hues and mechanical performances are all culprits as far as the title's concerned. Why it's on the list You will find no greater Equilibrium fans than the Empire team, so we had high hopes for Ultraviolet.
After all, Wimmer is capable of good sci-fi, as is Jovovich c'mon, Leeloo rocks. But the film is astonishingly bad - perhaps due to the decision to remove all references to vampirism from the finished cut, rather castrating the script, perhaps because the theatrical cut is a good 30 minutes shorter than the director intended and makes no sense, or perhaps because it was never that clever in the first place.
Redeeming feature William Fichtner's in it! And if he's playing exactly the same part he did in Equilibrium, well, that's no bad thing. What the critics said "The drama ends, confusingly, with a flaming sword battle that takes place partially in the dark and appears to have equal influences from "Highlander" and that annual Yule log that appears every Christmas on KICU.
The Yule log was way more entertaining. The Spirit Who's responsible? Jackson, Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johansson.
Jackson's scenery-gnawing mad scientist baddie, or even the unbelievably stupid and annoying henchmen. It's the way that Frank Miller tries to stuff the film with gorgeous women, dress them all as sex objects and then make them go literally insane whenever Macht's Spirit appears. It's clearly meant to be tongue-in-cheek and fun, but somehow it just comes off as sad. Redeeming feature It does look like a comic come to life.
And hey, so do the ladies. What the critics said "I'm just trying to figure out why, somewhere in the middle of "The Spirit," Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johansson arrive on screen decked out in swastikas and jackboots.
Nothing in the logic of the film explains it, but then, to use the phrase "the logic of the film" when talking about "The Spirit" may be to take the "oxy" out of "oxymoronic. Scott, The New York Times The Pink Panther 2 Who's responsible? Director Harold Zwart, co-screenwriter and star Steve Martin. Why it's on the list The thing about resurrecting a classic is that you're going to be measured against the original.
While Martin's first shot at The Pink Panther was nary a patch on the original, with only three funny bits, this shot-in-the-dark sequel is barely fit to lick its predecessor's boots, never mind those of Sellers' lunatic detective.
Not even the reprise of the 'amburger bit. Redeeming feature Watching Jeremy Irons hope that no one will notice he's in it. What the critics said "Rather than reinvigorating the Panther comedy franchise from the '60s and '70s, Martin's version dumbs it down and wrings the zany fun out of it.
Scary Movie Who's responsible? Why it's on the list The original in the crap-spoof genre, where the wisdom of Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker is rudely shoved aside in favour of replaying whole scenes from better films with worse casts, and fart gags are substituted for wit or visual humour. This one is far from the worst of the genre, but gets points deducted for sparking so many bad sequels and spin-offs.
That and for spoofing a film that was, in itself, a satire. Redeeming feature Anna Faris, who has genuine comic chops and almost, almost, makes the thing funny.
What the critics said "Where the majestic 'Airplane' took the rise out of a series of disaster movies that had taken themselves far too seriously, 'Scary Movie' which only once tries to parody its source's parody - and fails loses considerable impact by not having its necessary straight man. A Morecambe, if you like, without its Wise. Southland Tales Who's responsible?
Why it's on the list After the runaway success of Donnie Darko, everyone expected big things of Richard Kelly's second movie, a twisty post-apocalyptic tale of porn stars and the second coming. And while his ambition is plain to see, the sad fact is that the plot makes no sense, even on repeated viewings.
Redeeming feature Unlikely as it sounds, Justin Timberlake's narrator is probably the best thing here, closely followed by The Rock. What the critics said "I suspect that the film will probably make more sense to people who've read the graphic novels, though I imagine that complete comprehension of something as wiggy and abstract as Southland Tales is pretty much impossible, even to Kelly himself.
Such is the mystery of art. The Sweetest Thing Who's responsible? Why it's on the list About as feminist as a Spice Girls video and considerably less jaunty, this crude rom-com tries to make a case for ladette humour, billing itself as a sort of American Pie for grown women. The difference is that American Pie was funny; this is just cringe-inducing.
And don't even get us started on The Penis Song, which the three stars co-wrote. Redeeming feature Thomas Jane at least has the decency to look embarrassed by what's going on around him. What the critics said "It's an excruciating mess, unable to make up its mind if it's a dating-game comedy, wacky road movie or a teen-market gross-out fest. It succeeds only in being tacky, unfunny and profoundly unconvincing, and acted on brain-dead auto-pilot by the relentlessly vivacious Diaz. Street Fighter Who's responsible?
Why it's on the list There still hasn't been an outright good game-to-film adaptation, but even by the standards of the genre, this one's a pretty poor effort.
Despite combining the martial arts skills of JCVD with the being-super-perky skills of Kylie Minogue, we simply weren't convinced. Redeeming feature It was Raul Julia's last film, and there's pleasure to be had watching his snarling, swaggering General Bison. What the critics said "Since the film is PG, none of the violence that breaks out with predictable regularity is particularly believable or engrossing.
Some of the film merely mimics the action of the game; at least in the game you get to participate in the bellicosity. Why it's on the list It must've seemed like a good idea: Only the star didn't act, the music didn't spawn a hit and the film itself is stupefyingly dull and badly put together on every level from cinematography to plotting. Redeeming feature If you like Carey's voice, you might like some of the songs.
To see her act, however, you'll have to watch this year's Precious. What the critics said "Glitter's rhyming slang is well earned. At times during the first hour of this 'rags to riches' story, Glitter appears to be the world's first Zen movie. Entire scenes wander past with the nutritional content of a CD case. Revenge of the Fallen Who's responsible?
Why it's on the list Another sequel that sees a massive drop-off in quality from its more tightly-plotted predecessor - and the first Transformers was no masterpiece - this is a rare case where improvements in special effects put filmmaking back, with the more intricate robots proving impossible to tell apart in a fight - apart from the racist and sexist stereotypes, anyway.
A nonsensical plot, skewed tone and tin ear for cultural sensitivity combine to make it the silliest film of Redeeming feature John Turturro, who appeared to be in a different movie from everyone else - again. And Optimus Prime's scenes are totally worth watching. What the critics said "With its fascist sensibility, assortment of smutty asides, illiterate gold-tooth-wearing homie robots and the hero's brainless mother, much of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is simply despicable.
Given the relentless din, the Leni Riefenstahl-inspired music and the headache-inducing visuals, OSHA should probably be investigating the conditions under which human beings made this thing.
Or the conditions under which they watch it. Speed 2 Who's responsible? Why it's on the list Rarely has a franchise gone from the sublime to the ridiculous as fast as Speed. The first film was a near-perfect action movie; the second shifted the action to that least speedy of mass transportation methods: As it turns out, you can't reduce the speed to six knots and expect the story not to slow down. And when the whole point of the film is that it can't slow down, you're onto a loser.
Redeeming feature The final stunt, where Jason Patric has to harpoon a seaplane. Who doesn't love people harpooning seaplanes? What the critics said "I am thinking of suing Twentieth Century Fox for breach of contract. Where, pray, is the speed? I can bicycle faster than this ship. I know people who can swim faster. If things carry on like this, we can look forward to Speed 3 taking place on the back of a pony.
Freddy Got Fingered Who's responsible? Why it's on the list Vanity, vanity, thy name is Tom Green. If you were around in the s you may remember Green as the anarchic host of his self-titled MTV show. If you saw Freddy Got Fingered, however, you'll remember him as a shouting, tasteless buffoon responsible for these 90 minutes of would-be shocking sketches.
It's a film he didn't so much direct as perpetrate. Redeeming feature The film's defenders claim that it's actually "a greater, dadaistic post-modern vision". So that's OK then. What the critics said "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel.
This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels. The Revenge Who's responsible? Why it's on the list To steal from Dennis Pennis, this is a C-movie in every sense of the word. Alongside a shonky script and hoary dream sequences, it's got a replica Great White so rubbery you could lop it into tiny pieces and stick it on your pencil, several glaring continuity errors, and a confused-looking Michael Caine in desperate need of a new agent.
Oh, and a shark eating an plane. Redeeming feature It's got a shark eating an plane. Alone in the Dark Who's responsible?
Why it's on the list A big congratulations to Uwe Boll, who managed to get only two films on the list! And what a doozy his top-placer is, with a starring role for Tara Reid not a good sign since the first American Piea monster-in-a-museum idea we've seen a million times and a plot that defies the laws of nature as well as screenwriting, filled with non-sequiturs and barely explained events.
Redeeming feature Er, let's just say Christian Slater's eyebrows. What the critics said "Alone in the Dark offers ample evidence that House of the Dead helmer Uwe Boll should put down his joystick -- quickly, before anyone else gets hurt.
Swept Away Who's responsible? Director Guy Ritchie, Madonna. Why it's on the list Much as we'd like to dismiss the reaction to Guy Ritchie's third film as a knee-jerk reaction to the fact that he made a film with his famous then wife, the truth is that it really is pretty bad, Madonna swinging from melodramatic to fatally blank like a metronome. Redeeming feature The Mediterranean is a terribly fetching shade of blue.
What the critics said "All the spunk and spirit of [Guy Ritchie's] first two box office hits, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch," are missing from "Swept Away," a movie so dangerously adrift from any artistic or commercial moorings that one cannot make out what is intended.
The 50 Worst Movies Ever
Why it's on the list It's almost impossible to believe, looking at this, that Martin Brest directed Beverly Hills Cop. After all, this is supposed to be a comedy too, but you wouldn't guess it from the laughs.
Lo playing the sort of lesbian only found in movies talks dirty, sleeps with men it's impossible to take seriously. Redeeming feature Christopher Walken and Al Pacino's cameos are the closest the film gets to funny. What the critics said "Nearly as unwatchable as it is unpronounceable. The pair should reconsider working with anyone who thought well of a movie hinged on jokes about the disabled, switch-hitting lesbians, and the sight of a dead man's brain splattered across an aquarium.
Why it's on the list This is one of those films with a truly impressive collection of talent behind and in front of the camera - which makes the extent of its badness all the more depressing. Perhaps the original novel - not King's best, with its "shit weasels" and red mould - just wasn't suited for cinema.
Redeeming feature Jason Lee's pretty good. But then he's only in it for about 10 minutes.
Meet the Spartans () - IMDb
What the critics said "It's when the weasel aliens exit from various orifices that the film disintegrates into a sizeable heap of poo. White Chicks Who's responsible? Why it's on the list There's willing suspension of disbelief, and then there's the idea that two society sisters of the Hilton variety can turn up for summer in the Hamptons having put on height and weight and become freakishly plastic looking due to being undercover male FBI agents without anyone noticing.
Add in thoughtless sexism and general offensiveness, dress in high heels and start threatening a sequel. Redeeming feature Terry Crews plays a playboy improbably attracted to one of the undercover agents, and actually manages to raise some laughs. What the critics said "The premise veers wildly from its fertile setup, thanks to acting that isn't broad so much as grotesque, humor that's isn't smart so much as witlessly vulgar, and preposterous plotting that insults the intelligence.
Plan 9 From Outer Space Who's responsible? Would-be movie mogul Ed Wood. Why it's on the list Possibly the most entertaining movie on this entire list, Ed Wood's masterpiece mixes nonsensical dialogue, stock footage, dreadful effects and short recycled clips of star Bela Lugosi, who died during filmmaking, used with scant regard for narrative coherence.
Still, there's an exuberance and ambition to it that most of the films here can only dream of.
Redeeming feature If you've seen the Tim Burton film Ed Wood, you'll probably feel all warm and cosy about even the most demented bits.
What the critics said "Brilliantly terrible or terribly terrible depending on your viewpoint. Director Pitof, star Halle Berry. Why it's on the list It was clear that something was wrong the moment the shredded and strapped costume was unveiled, but the full extent of the disaster didn't become clear until we saw the equally shredded editing and the weird face-cream MacGuffin that gave the plot its Big Bad.
Bizarre - and not in a good way. Redeeming feature Berry in a catsuit, tangling with Sharon Stone. Disaster Movie Who's responsible? Why it's on the list Disaster movie by name - well, you know the rest. Friedberg and Seltzer, the talentless hacks behind a string of godawful spoofs, turn their sights on a genre, but with their usual scattershot aim end up hitting innocent bystanders in their quest to fill 90 minutes without using a single original line of dialogue or funny gag.
Freidberg and Seltzer persist in their notion that replaying entire scenes from better films, word for word, can be funny. Redeeming feature Er, some people liked the Juno spoof. What the critics said "A disaster first, and a movie barely" - William Goss, Cinematical The Avengers Who's responsible? Why it's on the list A great cast, a classic TV series on which to base the adventure and some rather beautiful production design, The Avengers looked, on paper, to have it all.
Shame that the arch dialogue collapsed, the jokes fizzled and the villain conferred with a table full of giant teddy bears. Redeeming feature It's so surreal looking it's almost a work of art. Just not cinema art. What the critics said "The Avengers" is a gargantuan misfire, but it probably isn't the hilarious travesty that a lot of people are expecting it to be. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.
Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.300 (2006) - This Is Sparta! Scene (1/5) - Movieclips
Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster.
With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen. At the Battle of Thermopylaethe Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboawho kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut.
Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto: Managing to find the " Transformer Cube ", Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the " Leave Britney Alone! However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, apparently killing them.
The blind Dilio eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas' final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a larger Spartan force to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way.